Help with being a stepmom?

I know it may seem hard. I have a child from a previous relationship and my husband had a hard time at first. When my ex started dating the women he is now enagaged to I was awful to her. After a while I realized how incredibly immature and ridiculous I was being and that my behavior was non productive as well as bad for my son. This may sound lame, but can you write her a letter explaining why the way she is acting is hurtful to her child and takes away from responsability as a mother? She sounds like a very hurtful, insecure person. I know I felt horrible for the way I had acted ( though it wasnt any where as mean as what your describing. I would never invovle my son in name calling) Maybe in time she will see how stupid she is being. And not loving the child like he is your own is terrible advice. Your a family. Love each other as a whole, not by an individual basis.